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13 January 2006 @ 02:34 am
Marauders Story 21b  
21b of the Marauders Story. Be sure to read 21a first.



Sirius comes home to sit on his floating toilet and read the paper at the exact same time as Lyra. (And I am still obsessing over those sneakers.)


Remus knocks out some tunes before bed, but he's suspicious of his drum set's motives.


The next day finds Lyra playing video games, laughing hysterically at the two people making out on her screen. Some kind of virtual porn, I suppose. (It has suddenly dawned on me that this is almost what the Sims 2 is. I mean, they can go to the bathroom and take out the trash as well, but the fun part is having them make out and Woo Hoo.) (Actually, the fun part is denying them their right to happiness and watch them go into various states of complete mental breakdown, to be quite honest.)


It's that afternoon that Remus stumbles to a part of his house he's never been before. Confused, he walks to the door of this mysterious room.


"OMG." His eyes widen and he doesn't quite know what to do with himself when he finds his very own library.


Well, there's really only one thing to do.


While Remus reads well into the night,


Lyra goes about feeding herself a hamburger,


and then feeding herself to the bathtub.


By the time Remus is done reading, he's got a serious crick in his neck.


He heads down to bed, and falls into an immediate sleep, dreaming of the Giant Cow, for whatever reason.


Lyra, meanwhile, is sticking it to Hermione by playing video games for hours on end.


The next morning, Lyra immediately goes downstairs to watch television. Somewhere in town, Hermione just stubbed her toe. (The original line was "cut herself", which I found too emo, and then "stubbed her face" but that just wouldn't make sense no matter how hard I tried. So just fuck it.)


Later that morning, Lyra and Remus sit down for a pancake dinner, and Remus brings up school and books once again.


Lyra doesn't really care to talk about books.


She'd rather discuss sumo wrestling.


That goes over well.

(If anyone else is at this point wondering where the FUCK Sirius is...SO AM I.)


I'm glad she's developed the weird rat-sniffling tick. It's one of the better ticks.


Just as Remus flips into his work clothes, Sirius emerges from the depths of whereverthefuckhe'sbeenhiding.


Just in time for a Goodbye Kiss.

And because I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't fill my glorious Many Faces of Sirius Black quota:

Sirius gains some charisma points.



I really shouldn't be physically attracted to a Sim.


Remus comes home and they wave formally at each other from across the yard.


"Okay, fuck the formality."
"Yes please."
"No I said-but yeah let's do that too."


Before they can do anything of the kind, however, their daughter comes home, celebrating her good report card.


With her comes Ron Weasley.

And, to further meet that Quota:

Sirius cheers his daughter on, and I die.

While Sirius claps and whispers, Lyra presents her paper to the couch.



Sirius then thanks the heavens above.


Outside, Remus is using their Chocolate Making Machine and gorging himself on the sweets.


Busted.


Instead of say, doing anything, Sirius walks around the house to go stand in the middle of the flowerbed. And I really think the Chocolate Making Machine is just squirting out poop and churning little chocolate poop balls. Suck on my chocolate salty balls. Just stick 'em in the your mouth and suck 'em!


Inside, Lyra is trying to watch television and Ron is talking about puzzles.


"Could you not... talk so loud, please? Volume down, just a tad. Trying to watch."


Lyra having just blown him off, Ron looks up at me. Well I can't make her talk to you, guy!


I mean, when a girl would rather scrub out a green, scum-infested toilet than talk to you, you're really beyond help.


See okay, this is why people don't want to talk to him. How fucking creepy is that? They're all eating dinner/doing homework and Ron is watching them wistfully from afar.


His dad eventually comes to bring the poor boy home. Nice comb-over, Arthur.


Lyra heads up to bed, and downstairs things begin to heat up.



I am mourning over the lack of a 2-person shower hack. Sirius is in there, touching his naked body, thinking about Remus, and Remus is right there and they could be having Sim!sex right now all...all wet, but Maxis has to have this Teen rating. *grumblegripegrumble*


I'm not entirely sure they even went to sleep, although Sirius is suddenly in his pajamas. Also, my Sims talk about fire! a lot, you guys.


As Sirius gets up from the table, his recently eaten pancakes meet last night's german sausage in his stomach and make a wild break for it. (Either that or HBP!Harry's "creature in the chest" is possessing Sirius and is having a full-on brawl with the pancakes. Regardless of which scenario, the 'cakes are doing something.)


After breakfast, Lyra goes outside to the swimming pool.


This wears her out and in no time at all she's passed out on the couch.


Sirius finds it the perfect time to tickle-fight Lyra away...


Give her a hug...


And then steal her spot on the couch.
Lyra: "Hey...WAIT A DAMN SECOND."


During this, Remus is upstairs calmly reading. He will play no part in his family's shenanigans.


Good thing, too. Because if Remus knew what Lyra was doing to his microphone right now, he'd have a fit.


When he uses the microphone later, Remus smells something just a tad bit off, but doesn't suspect anything. So naive.

Continue to 21c.
 
 
 
zolalupinzolalupin on January 13th, 2006 06:35 pm (UTC)
Remus knocks out some tunes before bed, but he's suspicious of his drum set's motives.

funniest line yet!!
fancy new whatever: MSS Remus ZOMG!ogiraffe on January 13th, 2006 06:50 pm (UTC)
I really shouldn't be physically attracted to a Sim.

me neither but come on, he's adorable!
neversxmaybesneversxmaybes on January 13th, 2006 09:11 pm (UTC)
I'm loving the "..as Ron watches wistfully from afar" sentence, 'cuz that's exactly how I would have said it, too.

And don't be too worried about being attracted to a Sim...it's happened to me plenty of times before. Not even kidding. It's bound to happen when your school is filled with people who've been beaten with an ugly tree...or something. **walks away**
god damn these electric sex pantsnicefinalbeam on January 13th, 2006 09:12 pm (UTC)
I am so frightened by Lyra's face in that microphone picture.

Poor Ron Weasley. The kid just wants to be loved.
Danisummerkins on January 14th, 2006 02:17 am (UTC)
Instead of say, doing anything, Sirius walks around the house to go stand in the middle of the flowerbed. And I really think the Chocolate Making Machine is just squirting out poop and churning little chocolate poop balls. Suck on my chocolate salty balls. Just stick 'em in the your mouth and suck 'em!

TOO FUNNY!

ANd being attracted to a Sim isn't the worse thing i've done...
my_sim_storiesmy_sim_stories on January 14th, 2006 02:25 am (UTC)
I'm almost scared to ask what the worst thing is..
liz.greenishmaitai on January 14th, 2006 03:44 am (UTC)
Actually, the fun part is denying them their right to happiness and watch them go into various states of complete mental breakdown, to be quite honest.

But you would NEVER do that to the Marauders Gang...right?

By the way, you and your blog make my life brighter! Keep up the awesome work!
distorted_prose on January 22nd, 2006 04:56 pm (UTC)
Last picture:

ZOMG! REMUS FOR PRIME MINISTER!!!!!!1!one
Alial_shmal_my_pal on January 29th, 2006 08:19 am (UTC)
Suck on my chocolate salty balls. Just stick 'em in the your mouth and suck 'em!

hehehe, Best. Song. EVER!
Amanda Huggenkiss: iriscrabnebula78 on June 12th, 2006 03:36 am (UTC)
*replies waaaaaaaaaaay late*

I just wanted to say I adore you and this stuff...

But the most pressing matter is that in the montage of the Many Faces of Sirius Black, the first picture of him makes him look exactly like Zoolander's look. Hahah I love Zoolander.